What’s Within Our Control?
Finding Stability in an Unstable World
Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything you can to keep things together, and yet somehow, the world still throws you into complete chaos?
Yeah. Same.
The past few years have felt like a crash course in facing uncertainty. Just when we think we’ve found some footing, something shifts—a personal crisis, a global event, a relationship change, all the above—and suddenly, we’re back to feeling like we have zero control over anything. And honestly? That feeling is exhausting.
But here’s what I’ve learned: resilience isn’t about controlling everything. It’s about focusing on what’s actually in our hands and letting go of the rest.
What We Can’t Control (And Need to Stop Pouring Energy Into):
🚫 What other people think, say, or do
🚫 Unexpected life changes, losses, or disappointments
🚫 The past (no matter how much we replay it)
🚫 Every single possible outcome, no matter how well we plan
And yet, these are often the things that consume our energy. We spiral over someone’s reaction to a boundary. We replay past conversations, wondering if we should have said something different. We stress about things that might happen, as if worrying about them now will somehow prevent them.
It won’t. And the worst part? That kind of thinking drains the energy we do need to focus on what we actually can change.
So, What Can We Control?
How we respond to what’s happening
The way we speak to ourselves (seriously, self-talk matters)
What we prioritize & give our energy to
Our boundaries—with people, with news, with what drains us
The small steps we take daily, even when everything else feels overwhelming
How to Shift Your Focus to What’s Within Your Control
Ask Yourself: Where Is My Energy Going?
If your mind is racing with things you wish you could change, pause. Ask yourself: Does this need my attention right now, or am I holding onto something I can’t fix?
Redirect That Energy into Something Grounding
Instead of getting stuck in the spiral, do one small thing that’s in your hands. Take a deep breath. Drink some water. Journal. Call a friend. Move your body. Small actions help shift our focus.
Practice Saying “Not My Problem” (With Love, Of Course)
If it’s outside your control, release it. Not because it doesn’t matter, but because you matter too, and carrying things that aren’t yours to carry will only drain you.
Final Thought:
Resilience doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. It means choosing to focus your energy where it actually serves you—because you deserve that.
Reflection Prompt: What’s one thing you’re focusing on today that’s within your control? Drop a comment below or journal about it.
